Libido Has Nothing To Do With It
by ambitiousbutrubbish
Summary: After each attack he gets more tattoos, until they're covering his whole torso. He gets looks. People stare. People assume. But he never lets himself feel ashamed of them again. Asexual!Newton


**A/N:** Written for an anonymous prompt on the Pacific Rim Kink Meme: Newt is asexual, but everyone thinks his Kaiju fanboying has perverted origins.

I'm sorry it's not as gen as it could have been, like the prompt asked, but I guess the Newton/Hermann could be read as a super intense bromance, and the other is sort of integral to the story.

Anyway, I hope the prompter doesn't think it entirely sucks, and I hope no one else does either. If you want to discuss the portrayal of asexuality in this fic then please don't hesitate to contact me.

Unbetta'd. All mistakes are my own and spell checks'.

* * *

Newt is 23 and it's a week after the first kaiju attack when he gets his first tattoo. He empties out more than half his bank account and ends up paying more than double the required amount because he knows what the tattoo artist will think, how he'll feel about tattooing something that just levelled San Francisco, and he wants it done right.

During the last session the artist smirks at him and asks if he'd like him to add a giant pair of breasts or a penis to the colourful ink. For the final hour or so, Newt wants to curl up into a ball and scratch the tattoo off his arm.

-0000-

He has a brief moment of panic because he's never been attracted to a person before, and what if he is attracted to the kaiju. What if it is skyscraper sized aliens from another world that do it for him? But after a few minutes he calms down and remembers that that's not it. He knows it's just that he's not attracted to anything.

That night Newt does curl up on his bed and makes himself as small as possible. He whispers to himself over and over, like a mantra. There's nothing wrong with him. There's nothing wrong.

-0000-

After each attack he gets more tattoos, until they're covering his whole torso. He gets looks. People stare. People assume. But he never lets himself feel ashamed of them again.

-0000-

Newt only tries dating once while he's working at MIT. He knows she's beautiful - just because he's asexual doesn't mean he doesn't have eyes and can't appreciate beauty when he sees it - and he wishes he could give or more, but he's 24 and he's never felt sexual desire for anyone and he doesn't think he's going to start now.

She suggests that the reason he isn't attracted to anyone is because of the medication he periodically takes for his borderline personality disorder. He lets it slide because it's an easy mistake to make, but later he sits her down and explains to her that even when he's not on his meds he still isn't. It's just the way he is.

She says she accepts it, but one night she gets naked and when he has no reaction she sneers at his tattoos and wonders aloud if it's because she's the wrong species.

Dating doesn't seem so important after that.

-0000-

When he enrols in the Jaegar Academy the looks only get more frequent. People in the halls actively question his allegiance to the human race and make all kinds of perverted accusations. Newt tries to ignore them because he knows it's not true, but sometimes it's hard to block out the name calling. There are times when he wishes he could just sleep with someone to prove once and for all that he's normal.

After graduation he agrees to come work for Marshal Pentecost, who doesn't even look at his tattoos.

-0000-

Tendo doesn't say anything about the tattoos the first time they meet. Instead he blathers on about the brilliant Dr. Gottlieb who worked out a system for predicting kaiju attacks and mentions that they are trying to come up with a way of classifying them and how he could really use Newt's expertise. Newt immediately decides that they're best friends.

The first time Hermann calls him a "kaiju groupie" and says that he "loves them" in his ridiculous accent, Newt wants to cry because he has to work with this man for however long and he thought he was different, but he's just as quick to jump to conclusions as everyone else. It takes him three more times before he realises that there's no malice behind those words, no leer, and that Hermann means it purely as a way of expressing his frustration with Newt's decision to dedicate his intellect to studying the kaiju, instead of actively trying to find a way to stop them.

The revelation really comes when he first meets the Hansen's and Chuck eyes his tattoos and then gives him an exaggerated wink. Hermann slams his cane down on Chuck's foot, hard, and though he apologises profusely, when Newt beams at him he flashes a tiny smile back.

-0000-

Newt really should have seen it coming, he tries so hard to be seen as the cool adult figure. But when Mako is 15 and she comes to him and asks about sex he's totally floored. It's honestly something he never anticipated, and all he can say is "why ask me, I don't have sex."

Mako looks at him completely lost. "But, you and Dr. Gottlieb -"

Newt splutters over her. "No–. I mean–. It's not like that. Hermann and I aren't like that." And that's how Newt ends up explaining sexuality to a wide eyed, 15 year old girl.

After he's finished she smiles at him and says that being in love with someone and not having to have sex with them sounds nice, because sex sounds gross anyway. Newt hugs her so tight his arms start to hurt.

-0000-

After ten years, the term 'kaiju groupie' has become almost a pet name between Newt and Hermann, if a pet name is what you call someone when you're frustrated with them but also don't want to appear petty in front of a commanding officer. Newt's gotten over the hurt of the first time he heard it, but when Hermann calls him it in front of Raleigh he picks a fight because he doesn't want him to get the wrong idea.

Raleigh just shakes his head and maybe even smiles a little.

-0000-

Hannibal Chau eyes up his tattoos in the same way Chuck Hansen did during their first meeting, but whereas Chuck only made him roll his eyes, Hannibal's look makes him squirm and cover them up. He looks knowing, understanding, and that's a look Newt's never seen before.

-0000-

Almost the entire Shatterdome starts partying after the breach is closed. They've lost people, sure, but they've also saved millions, billions, of lives, and they deserve this. Every now and then a few people peel away from the party looking for the two scientists who helped save the world, but when they find them they don't approach.

They're curled up on the pull-out couch in their lab, Newt leaning almost bodily on Hermann, while the mathematician traces his tattoos with his finger - the last testament to their life's work.


End file.
